Na-love at first sight daw si Toni Gonzaga sa picture palang noon ng asawa na niya ngayong si Direk Paul Soriano.
Ito ang ikinuwento ng TV host-actress kay Matteo Guidicelli kamakailan nang mag-guest s’ya sa podcast nito na Matt Runs. Natanong kasi s’ya ng actor-podcast host kung kailan ba n’ya nasabi sa sarili na ang mister na si Paul ang kanyang matatawag na “the one.”
“When I first saw his picture in [his] Multiply account, I knew it in my heart [it was him],” pagtatapat ni Toni. [It was] 2008 [or] 2007, when I saw his picture in Multiply account.”
Hindi daw talaga n’ya ito kilala at naririnig lang ang pangalan nito sa kanyang mga kaibigan at kakilala.
“I’ve been hearing about his name...that there’s this director na galing daw ng Amerika…tapos si Tita Angeli, wife ni Kuya Gary Valenciano, she wants us to meet,” pagre-recall ng aktres.
“He wanted to meet me daw. Tapos I keep hearing the name Paul Soriano. I was 23, 24 [years old]. Hindi ko s’ya kilala nu’n. So, tiningnan ko sa Multiply account. ‘Sino kayang ipapakilala sa akin?’ A young director daw?
“Tapos tiningnan ko ’yong picture. Tapos ayon, I never forget this, sabi ko, ‘Shocks. Parang ito ’yong mapapangasawa ko.’”
Naikuwento pa nga daw n’ya ito sa younger sister n’yang si Alex na nagkibit-balikat lang that time.
“Tapos, I remember nu’ng day na sinagot ko si Paul, June 12, I went to my room. Ang sabi ko kay Alex, ‘Ano ba ’yan? Ito na ’yong mapapangasawa ko, itong sinagot ko. Napi-feel ko na talaga.’ Si Alex sabi, ‘OA mo. E di, okey,’” natatawang pagbabalik-tanaw ni Tony.
Na-amaze naman si Matteo sa mga ibinahagi ng aktres sa kanya.
“Ang galing mo doon. Parang God has been with you since Day 1,” komento ng mister ni Sarah Geronimo.
”Feeling ko He spared me from all the heartaches kasi… These heartaches allowed me to build my fence na I will not allow anyone to really hurt me that bad,” sagot naman ni Toni.
“Kasi nagpakita na Siya ng mga warning signs. ‘How can you be hurt in this whole process of like doing your own thing and, you know, doing what I want you to do in your life.’ Basta ’yon. Parang ganu’n.”
At dahil isang taon pa lang na mag-asawa sila ni Sarah, natanong ni Matt si Toni tungkol sa “leaving and cleaving,” ang tawag sa pag-alis sa dati mong pamilya para sumama sa ’yong asawa at bumuo ng panibagong pamilya.
Aware daw dito si Toni dahil naging challenging sa kanila ni Paul ang first year ng kanilang marriage.
“The first year for me and Paul was the most difficult year of our entire marriage. I will remember that, as in, saulian na ng papel,” aniya.
“Si Paul would always tell me about it [leaving and cleaving] but I never fully understood what [it was]. Hindi s’ya very religious but he has this kind of wisdom na parang…”
“He’s a leader, kumbaga,” salo ni Matteo sa kanya.
“Oo. Man of the house. Head of the household,” dugtong n’ya. “Talagang alam mo good head on his shoulders. Talagang may wisdom din s’ya na napapaisip ako. S’ya ang nagsabi sa akin nu’ng leave and cleave.
“It’s just that when I married, doon ko lang na-realize na it’s not just physically leaving your old house and your old life. Kasi I thought when I left my house I already left. But no,” pagtatapat pa ni Toni.
“My mind, my emotions were all still living with my parents. Because for 30 years I have lived with them so programmed na ’yong buong katawan mo na, ‘Ito ’yong system ko. Ito ’yong buhay ko…’
“So, for the first year of our marriage I would also consult my parents, I would always run to them for advice. I didn’t get the whole idea na parang, ‘That’s not who you are anymore. You are somebody’s wife and you are one.’”
Nahirapan daw kasi talaga s’ya noong una magpasakop sa kanyang mister dahil hindi pa s’ya sanay sa ganoong set-up.
“I cannot accept nu’ng time na ’yon na, ‘Huh? You’re my boss or I will submit to you? I cannot submit to you.’ Parang ganu’n,” patuloy na pagre-recall pa ng aktres.
“It’s so hard to grasp. But you know, submitting is not bowing down to your husband and adoring your husband and worshiping your husband.
“Submitting is allowing him to lead your family. It’s not dying or playing small or you will die to yourself just to please your husband. I don’t think that’s the real meaning of submitting to your husband. Submitting is honoring your husband and honoring his decisions also.”
Hindi naman daw binabalewala ni Paul ang sey n’ya sa mga desisyon nito para sa kanilang pamilya.
“But it doesn’t mean na when Paul makes decision he doesn’t consult me,” paglilinaw ni Toni. “He always consults me ’cause we are one. It’s just that you allow him. Kasi, ’di ba, he’s the head of the household and you [as wife] are the light of the house. Be that light.
“Parang sinasabi nila, ’di ba, the husband is the head, the wife is the neck. So, parang naka-support kaming ganyan. But of course, you have to know who are you submitting to, ’no? Kung hindi naman s’ya ka-submit-submit, you have to re-calibrate your decisions.”
Nahirapan din umano ang parents n’ya noon nag-adjust na may sarili ng pamilya ang kanilang anak.
“Yeah, oo. It was also a bit difficult for them in the beginning because we had rules in our house. Wala ng visitors ng mga 9:00 [in the evening] dati,” lahad ni Toni.
“My parents would get hurt na, ‘Why can’t we visit you?’ Parang ganu’n. Pero eventually, nag-adjust na.
"You will come to that term na mag-a-adjust lahat. Na-accept na rin nila na this is my new life. This is the, hindi naman rules, but how we run our household.”
Sa ngayon ay okey na daw ang lahat sa kanila ni Paul at sa kanila ng parents n’ya.
“In five years na kasal kami ni Paul medyo nag-settle na ’yong dust. Kasi before it’s all over, parang ang gulo. Puro alikabok. Ngayon nag-settle na ’yong mga dust. Parang alam na ng bawat isa ’yong mga posisyon ng bawat isa in our lives,” pagtatapos ni Toni.
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